So you’re from Pittsburgh, here’s your guide to the post season Never root for the Flyers

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The Pittsburgh Penguins have been eliminated.

Pittsburgh loves hockey and always ranks near the top of the national ratings for hockey whether the home team is playing of not.

The Steelers don’t play for a month. Pittsburgh is not an NBA town.

Pittsburgh is barely an MLB town.

Pittsburghers will be watching hockey. Here’s a guide ranking in order who Penguin fans should root for.

  1. Colorado Avalanche. Nathan MacKinnon is the best player in the world. It’s like watching Sidney Crosby 2.0. Nathan is Sid’s buddy. Sid will be rooting for the Avs. Cale Makar is an incredible young defenseman and might be the most exciting player in the NHL to watch. Former Penguin and two-time Stanley Cup winner Ian Cole plays for the Avalanche. They were eliminated on a real cheesy offsides call last season and didn’t whine about it.
  2. Vancouver Canucks. The Canucks are now Canada’s team and their last hope. Canada gave us hockey and Crown Royal. The Canucks play a fun brand of hockey. Elias Pettersson, Brock Boeser, Quinn Hughes are young superstars. You can jump on their bandwagon early and have them for your mistress team for a decade. A mistress team is a team in the other conference you cheer for, except against the Penguins. Vancouver forward JT Miller grew up in Western Pennsylvania and played for the Pittsburgh Hornets
  3. Dallas Stars. There’s no reason not to root for the Dallas Stars. No one on that team to hate and that’s a big deal. Defensmen Miro Heiskanen and John Klingberg play like you want Kris Letang to play. Dallas is a huge market and it may help NBC rating numbers.
  4. Tampa Bay Lightning. The Lightning have the most talent in the NHL. They can dazzle offensively. It maybe their last chance. They eliminated John Tortorella and deserve some gratitude. If a video review in 2016 went a different way Tampa may have another Cup and the Penguins may have two less Cups.
  5. New York Islanders. They are playing the Flyers. They already beat the Capitals. What’s the saying? Enemies of my enemies are my friends. The Islanders trap but they have goal scorers (Matthew Barzal and Anthony Beauvillier) and big hitters (Matt Martin and Cal Clutterbuck). Even though no franchise has caused the Penguins more pain then the Islanders, they are never mentioned as one of the Penguins most hated rivals.
  6. Boston Bruins. Hasn’t the city of Boston won enough? If Boston people will talk about Boston dominating the last decade. Boston thinks they own the Black and Gold colors. Boston still hates Ulf Samuelsson. Who wants Jack Edwards to ever be happy?
  7. Vegas Golden Knights. Do you want to see Marc- Andre Fluery the Maid of Honor again on a Stanley Cup winner? Vegas has only been in the league three years the franchise needs to suffer more. People in Vegas have enough to be happy about, they live in Vegas for Christ sakes.
  8. Philadelphia Flyers. Never, under any circumstance, do Penguin fans root for the Flyers. If a family member plays for the Flyers disown them.