On loathing and obsession in Bartnick’s world

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LOS ANGELES – This is a column I’ve wanted to write for a few years now. I watch tons of games and always wondered where my loyalties lie, besides loving the Penguins and despising the Flyers.

Thanks to technology I’ve seen almost every Penguin game this century. I only watch the Flyers when they’re losing already or it’s the playoffs. These rankings are fluid. Teams closer to the middle flip around and have changed over my lifetime.

The rankings change year to year and even during a game if a team gets bad call or if I want to see a hat trick. Mostly the rankings go by who I liked as a kid. Do I like their players? Do I like the city? But most importantly, how do they effect the Penguins.

  1. Penguins – My obsession with the Penguins cannot be healthy.
  1. Kings – My mistress team. I was in the building when they won their first Stanley Cup.
  1. Red Wings – They were always my video game team because no one was allowed to pick the Penguins. My two favorite non-Penguins of all time are Sergei Fedorov and Brendan Shanahan. My Puck Off co-host Frazer Smith’s team is the Red Wings.
  1. Ducks – They are the other local team, so I watch them a lot as well. It’s impossible not to root for Ryan Getzlaf.
  1. Coyotes – I will always want the best for Rick Tocchet and Phil Kessel and I love Conor Garland.
  1. Rangers- The league is better when the Rangers are good. I spend a lot of time in NYC and I love it when the town has a Ranger buzz but NEVER bring up Adam Graves.
  1. Blackhawks – I love the city, the logo and Patrick Kane. I need to see a game there in person.
  1. Avalanche – Nathan MacKinnon, Mikko Rantanen and Cale Makar are so much fun to watch.
  1. Islanders – No one has ruined Penguins seasons like the Islanders but I can’t hate them. I remember the Trottier Bossy era too fondly. I love Mathew Barzal and the 4th line plus I usually need them to do my divisional dirty work.
  1. Maple Leafs – I Love Auston Matthews and I want him to win a Cup in Toronto. If you’re going to hear about the Maple Leafs all the time anyway, they might as well be good.
  1. Lightning – Jon Cooper’s team is the best team in the league. I never get tired of watching greatness.
  1. Sharks – I lived in SF and watched and went to tons of Sharks games. Randy Hahn is a great announcer.
  1. Capitals – I’m supposed to hate them but that’s just jealousy. Alex Ovechkin, TJ Oshie and Terrible Tommy are always entertaining.
  1. Bruins – I have a ton of friends who are Bruin fans and while I respect their stars and legends the fans have that old school Red Sox fan mentality (it’s not a compliment). I loathe Jack Edwards
  1. Canadiens – No reason to ever hate the Habs, I just don’t always root for them. Guy Lafleur was my first favorite player.
  1. Devils – Some old Patrick division kinship although my grandmother hated them.
  1. Hurricanes – I have never hated them.
  1. Kraken – I love Ronnie Francis and the city of Seattle but the franchise is too woke.
  1. Stars – I love their D core ( Miro Heiskanen, John Klingberg, Jamie Oleksiak) and I have sympathy for their loss in the bubble Final but they stole Buffalo’s Stanley Cup.
  1. Oilers – I suffer from McJesus fatigue. He’s great but him and Leon need to win the North this year.
  1. Jets – Jets used to be in my top 5. Big Buff, Laine, the 2 o’clock Sunday games, now they’re just another Canadian team.
  1. Flames – If Darryl Sutter and Milan Lucic can’t will this team to win or care why should I?
  1. Canucks – I’ve never forgiven them for blowing 1994. Always an unlikeable team until last year, they may move up soon.
  1. Panthers – I’ve forgiven the rat throwing but when I can count the fans in the stands (pre-pandemic) I don’t’ feel compelled to jump on the bandwagon.
  1. Sabres – Even their own fans wear bags over their heads. I can’t root for quitters or the Pegulas, but I love listening to Rick Jeanneret.
  1. Predators – The media just wants them to win so bad so they can party there. They always underachievers and GM David Poile is overrated.
  1. Wild – Over twenty years of boring hockey, a bad time zone and the worst logo in sports gets you number 27 but they should be moving up with Billy Guerin at GM and Kirill Kaprizov.
  1. Senators – The Owner is a tool.
  1. Golden Knights – I was all in with Vegas then they crapped on Marc-Andre Fleury and Gerard Gallant now everything about their franchise irks me.
  1. Blues – Never like going to St. Louis. Is there a nice part?
  1. Blue Jackets – Columbus is a Major Indoor Soccer kind of town. They resurrected John Tortorella. This franchise makes me hate the AC/DC canon.
  1. Flyers – If the Flyers played ISIS I would root for ISIS.