LONDON, UK – Famed English poet John Betjeman once wrote a poem called ‘Slough’, in despair of the drab industrialisation of parts of the South of England during the inter-war years.
Jets bomb the MK Thunder goal – Photo by Jez Talbot
“Come, friendly bombs, and fall on Slough, It isn’t fit for humans now, There isn’t grass to graze a cow” he wrote, more to illustrate a point rather than single out the often since ridiculed Berkshire town.
This week sees the anniversary of Betjeman’s death in 1984, meaning he never saw the construction of Slough Ice Rink, the glory years of the Slough Jets hockey team or of course their recent lifting of the Ruggedstock Cup. A piece of history that he would have undoubtedly have documented in his work.
While silverware rained down on the Hangar, opinions poured in from the clouds of the internet onto Yorkshire, stoked by the unveiling of the new Leeds Knights logo. Buoyed by recent well-received (and it has to be said impressive) appointments of former Swindon supremo Steve Nell and highly regarded GM/Head Coach Dave Whistle, the National League Yorkshire club hit a first spot of turbulence with a mixed reaction to their unveiled artwork.
“They decided to do it on MS Paint?” was one of the kinder social media responses as British hockey fans weighed in with largely negative thoughts, proving that the UK is indeed beginning its recovery from the pandemic and getting back to a cynical norm.
To add petrol to the online fire, a graphic design company that had been unsuccessful with their submissions decided to post their glossy artwork directly under the Twitter announcement, pulling a Bullseye style “this is what you could have had” stunt.
Consensus in the PHN office is that the final version is actually not bad at all.
GB in flight, Riga delight?
While the rest of the UK pondered holidays to approved government green list destinations such as long time cruising favourite the South Sandwich Islands, Team GB landed in style on a chartered jet in Latvia earlier this week. Not only did they fly in style, but they then immediately rolled in style on an impressive looking branded bus to their hotel. To quote Bet 365 when referencing a 3am £50 bet on a Bolivian football game after 10 pints of beer, that’s when the fun stopped.
Hotel quarantine hit the GB squad upon arrival, followed by some brutal covid swabs, described by star netminder Ben Bowns as “horrific, involving a million twists and likely loss of brain cells”.
A hockey fan and bus enthusiast’s dream on wheels
First up for the GB squad in the upcoming World Championships is a nice easy leg stretch against Russia this coming Saturday 22 May, so all will be hoping that it’s a less painful experience than the aggressive nostril attacks the team have endured so far.
Peace in the Valley
Hockey in the capital enjoyed some bittersweet news as it was announced that after 36 years the Lee Valley ice rink in the east of the city would close in June, with work starting on a new twin pad facility shortly afterwards. The rink is home to a number of hockey teams including the Lee Valley Lions who’ve been there pretty much since it opened and compete in NIHL South.
The proposed 18 month gap of no ice provision on the site will no doubt alarm some, as history has plenty of horror stories of doors closing, never to be opened again when circumstances change. The timeline also appears to be particularly ambitious. In addition, local environmentalists in particular seem determined to put a stop to the proposed loss of green space, so no rink user should rest easy until the doors of the new venue open.
The other big question is of course whether the world’s most unpredictable “touchpad sensor activated” locker room showers will be shipped over to the Toronto hockey hall of fame to ensure they’re not lost forever? Hopefully someone has considered it as an exhibit allowing visitors to follow in the steps of thousands of hockey players by stroking, punching, caressing, prodding and even tickling the pads to see if they fancy working or not. If the water comes on you win a prize (and get wet).
36 years of hockey, skating and tepid showers
Trouble in Glasgow
When local band Del Amitri penned their hit tune “Nothing ever happens” they certainly didn’t have British or Scottish hockey in mind. Elite League side Glasgow Clan will now emerge from the pandemic in crisis through no fault of their own, thanks to uncertainty around their arena home. In a nutshell, their future appears to hinge on whether they can become the new operating company of Braehead Arena. Negotiations with current shopping centre owners Global Mutual continue with petitions from locals and hockey fans circulating with over 10,000 signatures.
The Clan release made sure to mention that Global Mutual was London based, just to add a little zest to their campaign.
Stanley Cup sleep deprivation
As the Stanley Cup Play-Offs began in their usual high octane exciting fashion, UK based hockey fans are enduring the punishing time zone difference to soak up the live action.
It’s stating the obvious to say there is nothing quite like the Stanley Cup with the passion, skill level and sheer energy of the players a sight to behold. Another impressive sight was a full arena full of bouncing fans in Carolina this week while the UK is still reluctant to let more than 10k fans inside the cavernous outdoor Wembley Stadium and even less elsewhere. Land of the free indeed.
If there is one thing however that the NHL teams could do to help all the Brits out it would be to ease off on the overtime… especially on the west coast!
And so with the round-up complete it’s only right to finish in a Betjeman style: “Come, branded pucks, and fall on our ice, hair has grown and flow is nice. We don’t want to go through this sh*t again twice.”
Time to get the show back on the road.
Contact the author: davidcarr_2@hotmail.com
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