LONDON, UK – Imagine last year sitting at your local rink during a period break, munching on a hot dog or reading the programme as the Zamboni circles around.
Hands up if you’re gonna be streamed
The music – let’s say Greatest Hits of Prince, is playing softly in the background. The chatter from the stands discusses the lack of scoring on the powerplay or perhaps if a nose was broken in the fight that happened earlier in the game.
Then without warning the person next to you leans over and says:
“You’d better make the most of this, because this time next year there won’t be any hockey here”
You look around at the mould on the roof. Surely it’s not that bad? Surely they can use a dehumidifier and then paint over it? It can’t bring down the building… can it?!
“And not just here” the voice continues.
“There’ll be no hockey anywhere in the UK. It will all be cancelled. The Elite League will mothball, our best Brits will be forced to play in Europe and some ice rinks will be earmarked as morgues to store thousands of dead bodies”
“The country will lock down in a pandemic, you will be asked to wear a face mask and many people will die… oh and travel abroad will be banned so there will be no escape”
You can’t smell booze in the air. This isn’t a drunken prediction. This appears to be a message from the future. Then the tone changes to a more positive one.
“But in November the fightback will begin. A vaccine will be found, Boris will realise his stats may well be misleading and the NIHL will lead a fightback. More specifically the Swindon Wildcats, Milton Keynes Lightning and the Sheffield Steeldogs who will play a series of games against each other despite the lockdown.”
“Fans will still be banned from the rink so don’t expect any live entertainment or hot dogs, but for £12 you’ll be able to stream the games thanks to a partnership with TicketCo TV a cloud-based event payment company.”
“After months starved of any hockey you’ll be happy to have something… anything to scratch the itch.”
It’s all too much to take in. Why those three clubs? What about the referees and officials? Who will commentate on the games? How will the players and officials stay safe and get tested? Will there be a trophy and will it make it to the final?
Before you can speak, the figure gets up off their seat and walks down the stands and out of sight. You sit slightly unnerved but confident that nothing as crazy as that could ever happen.
Suddenly you see the figure walking up the stairs towards you again. A feeling of dread runs down your spine wondering what they will say next.
They’ve already ruined ‘Purple Rain’ and ‘All that Glitters’… can they not leave you in peace to enjoy ‘Little Red Corvette’?
They lean closer as they pass by, breath as fresh as a spearmint Polo, neck vibrant in a cloud of Davidoff Cool Water.
“Oh… and Trump loses the US election”
You sit stunned, the figure departs again out of sight. Both teams come back on to the ice as Sandstorm by Darude begins at ear splitting volume.
Twelve months later it is all a reality. Every. Single. Detail.
So if you have a hockey itch, streaming passes for the Streaming Series which begins this Saturday 14th November with Swindon Wildcats v MK Lightning are available here.
To quote the legendary Frank the Tank in the movie Old School. Come on everybody… we’re streaming!
Contact the author: davidcarr_2@hotmail.com
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