EPL Weekly Roundup Wk 47

SWINDON, UK – Well, although not a busy week, it was a big week in more than one sense of the word.
Firstly, I mean the Bison added Czech Tomas Fojtik to their blue line who weighs in at a whopping 115 kgs which, in old money, is a couple of burgers over 18 stone; not that I am suggesting Mr Fojtik is fat, of course because he also has 1.95m, or a 6 feet and 5 inch, frame to carry it off. So apart from being something of an individual barricade at the back, I have the perfect solution to the Bison defence: sit Fojtik on the goal line with Stevie Lyle on his lap to do the odd bit of catching and nothing is going to get past them. Fojtik wouldn’t even need to move, apart from to stay comfortable, and he could even carry in a flask and have a brew while he and Lyle let everyone else fight it out centre ice.  
But Fojtik is no sloth, or at least he travels well because he has played in the US and Europe and in his last two seasons in France scored half a point per game on average with a surprisingly low penalty count. So, clearly one to watch so long as you make sure you are not sitting on the rails when the train is coming.
Moving on we come to the Phoenix who had their own piece of big news with the signing of Robert Schnabel who is also a D-man from the Czech Republic and matches Fojtik in size – 1.96m (6’5”) and 108kgs (17 stone) – give or take a helping of Desperate Dan’s cow pie, but has the edge on age being five years older at 33. But his other bigness comes in his pedigree which includes two draftings into the NHL, first in 1997 by the New York Islanders then a year later by the Phoenix Coyotes while eventually going on to ice for the Nashville Predators and several other US sides. More recently he played in Europe with last season in Italy where some respectable figures have offered the promise that Phoenix coach Tony Hand may well have done it again and pulled a, er, rabbit out of the hat on a par with Ralph, who at 20kg (3stone) holds the world record.  
It is said all men fret about size, but when it comes to D-men they need look no further than last season’s Phantoms’ player-coach Canadian Chris Allen who is of similar build to Fojtik and Schnabel and was the most productive D-man in the EPL. He was also selected as a member of the EPL All-Star Team, so maybe the French were right when they tried to convince us that size does matter and a Renault Clio was not a tiddler, although I doubt it would hold all three without some serious grounding and grunting.
So what about the top British D-man? Well, that would be Steeldogs’ Ben Morgan who ended the season as the number five in the EPL and while certainly shorter at 6’0” (1.8m), not exactly inadequate in the high-rise department, but a lot lighter at just over 14 stone.
Other top ten Brits were Flames’ Jez Lundin the same size while team mate Paul Dixon is 5’10” (1.78m) and 84kg (a tad over 13stone), similar to Phoenix’s Ladislav Harabin in second place. In third place was Bison’s Marcel Petran at 6’3” (1.90m) and 93kg (14-and-a-half stone) and in forth Steeldogs’ Pavel Gomeniuk 5’11” (1.81m) and 93 kg (15 stn).
But what about elsewhere in the league?
Well, while of course weight fluctuates, only a couple of players exceed the 100 kg (15-and-three-quarters stone) mark, and then only just, namely Flames’ forward David Longstaff and the Lightning’s’ forward Chris Wiggins, both of course, Brits.
That leaves Steeldogs’ D-man Steve Duncombe, Tigers’ forward Thomas Soar, again both Brits, plus Bees’ Czech forward Martin Masa, Phantoms’ Slovakian D-man Jozef Sladok, and possibly Bison’s British forward Joe Greener who play around the treble figure (100kg) mark.  
But let’s not forget it was the Jets’ who started all this sizest stuff off at the beginning of the month with the signing of Frantisek Bakrlik, another Czech, who at 1.95m (6’5”) and 105kgs (16-and-a-half stone) is a modicum on the large side compared to the average forward, but no disgrace when it comes to stats thereby suggesting size doesn’t, in fact, matter.
So a quick look at the figures shows that as far as defence goes Bison’s Fojtik is the biggest guy in the league, with Phoenix’s Schnabel close behind, while the Jets are the proud owners of the biggest forward with Balkrik needing a slightly increased parking space.
Perhaps surprisingly, of the top ten biggest EPL players based on height and weight, which includes twelve players due to common figures, the honours are split evenly between home-grown and import, but the forwards have it eight to four over the defence.
And the winners are – on height alone Chris Wiggins sets the highest bar, while on weight alone, as mentioned, it is Tomas Fojtik who takes the weightlifting title. But, when I posed the question of leaders to my old Grand-pappy he countered, with a mischievous glint in his eye, with the question, ‘Which player in the EPL has a body part that increases tenfold when stimulated?’ I, without even pausing for thought, suggested, ‘All of them.’ ‘Exactly,’ he replied, ‘it’s the pupil of the eye.’ Of course.
With feet firmly back on the ground, the Bees added the more regular sized Jan Bendik to their defensive line-up who, just for the record, weighs in at 68kg (just under eleven stone) and rises to the height of 1.77m. Yet another Czech, Bendik hails from HC Hradec Kralove for what will be his first season in British hockey having played only in Slovakia and his homeland.
The Wildcats completed their import quota with the signing of Finnish forward Matias Perkki ö from Vaasan Sport in Finland 2, which means magical Czech Jaroslav Cesky is now without a home so far for the coming season.
Meanwhile, the versatile Slovakian Tomas Janak re-signed for the Tigers although after two seasons, not as captain, which still leaves an import post vacant and as yet no mention of countryman Marek Hornak.
Two more teenagers, that’s numbers 30 and 31, were added to the EPL. British netminder Jorge El-Hage re-signed as backup for the Phoenix, and D-man Sam Godfrey, who played a part-season for the Jets last time out, signed on full time. But one player who won’t be returning to the EPL is Bison’s Czech forward Daniel Volrab who returned to his homeland and signed for HC Hradec Kralove.
The Tigers added two more pre-season games to their schedule, against Blackburn and Chelmsford, which means their run-in to the regular season starts on 25^th August – that’s less than two weeks away!
Can’t wait.      
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Contact Bill.Collins@prohockeynews.com